Once upon a time;
In the early 1960's, in the city of Montreal Canada, there was a young Caucasian woman. She was in her early 20's, and at that young age was already a popular country music singer..
After a show one night, one of her band mates suggested they all check out this jazz club that was close by. And so they did..
While there, she met this jazz pianist. I want to say, an "African American" man, because in this age of political correctness, it is considered inappropriate and even racist to refer to a person as a"Black Man", but he was neither African nor American. In truth his back ground was from Barbados, and he was Canadian.
How we choose to refer to him isn't really important.... The important thing, is that they met.
Those of you who believe in "Love at First Sight", will probably understand what transpired that night.
It was a cold winters night, and his hands were cold. The fingers of a pianist need to be limber and loose... One can not be trying to move stiff and cold fingers while preforming an instrument such as a piano.
He was about to go on stage and preform, and he was trying to warm his hands so he could play his instrument, and she.. The woman and fellow musician, helped him, the only way she could think... She cupped his hands in hers, and with her warm breath, warmed his fingers.
I have heard this tale a few times in my life, and I'm pretty sure, that for him, that was his "Love at First Sight" moment.
They became pretty inseparable after that....They became a couple, and then, they became more.
These days, that wouldn't be much of a big deal at all.... But those days were not these days. It was not yet acceptable for a Caucasian woman to be with a man who was not.
To protect both of them, this woman spent every available moment in the sun..... Tanning.. She did not use SPF 50, or 30 or even 10... The suntan lotion she used was Crisco... The vegetable oil/lard used to make pies and other baked goods.... She did it to attract more sun, and passed herself off as a woman of colour.
I heard this story when I was a child, and I asked why? I was young, and knew very little of racism and hate.
With a sad smile, I was told, that it would have been far less safe otherwise.
This story doesn't have a happy, or sad ending.... Because it's real life.. I can't tell you that the relationship lasted forever, because it didn't.
I can tell you, that for a time, they loved each other with all their hearts. And from that love came two children. Me, being the first, and my Brother being the second.
Why it didn't last forever, I do not know, nor have I asked....
Maybe, they grew apart,or maybe the judgments of the world around them became too much to bear... I don't know, and honestly, I don't really think it's any of my business.....
But, I love that story, and there are parts of it, that I carry with me and I have learned from...
Because of that, I know, that true love exist... Maybe not for everybody, but for some..
And I know, that when it happens.... There are no obstacles that can't and won't be over come, and anything less, is "settling".
To that end, while my parents will never likely read this...I want to say;
Thank You Mom and Dad, for your story, for your example, and the lessons that it taught me.
I love you both.
Greetings, Salutations and Happy Freakin' Friday.
Everyday, for the most part, I wake up at the crack of noon, and spend a few mins, pondering life, the universe, and of course chocolate chip cookies. To the observer, that may seem to be a profound time of self discovery at the beginning of my days.... In reality, it's just procrastinating, the inevitable... "Getting up and starting my day.
Today, I remembered someone I dated briefly a few years ago... Not everything, but this one thing she said.. She told me it was her dream in a relationship to be "Chosen"....I found out a couple of weeks later, that what she really meant was she wanted to be "Chosen"... By someone else LOL..
That concept of being chosen stuck with me though...
I was thinking today of the many people on my life.. I have an amazing family, that I did not choose..
I have some friends whom I have chosen and a select few that have chosen me. Just like everyone else in the world, I imagine..
My thought this morning though.... Was; Do the people in my life, feel chosen, or do they feel like they are the defaults in my world.
The former, is an incredible gift we can bestow on anyone around us.... The default, not so much...
My Challenge today, for myself... and I extend it to you, is to make the people in my world know that they are not just a default, but an important and yes, chosen part of my Universe.
I may not have chosen my Mother for example... But I can show her, that even given the choice of the millions of mothers out there, I would have chosen her(And truly, I would have). I can do that with all of my family..
Friends, some have just shown up in my life, others friendship grew over time... But like my family, they make my world a much better and happier place..
So join me today... In showing our loved ones, whether they are spouses, BF/GF's... children, pals, or any one who plays a role in the daily joys of living....
Let's let them know...... That like Pikachew.... We choose them :-)
Peace Kiddies and Happy Friday :-)
As anyone who knows me, knows by now, I gave up animal products a couple of months ago. They all know it, because I can't shut up about it.
I'm not preachy, more like feigned humility; "Oh, I don't care what anyone else eats, this is just a choice I've made for myself". In a way, it's almost worse. It's like pretending to be humble, all the while pointing out why I'm different(I seriously can not believe I turned into one of "Those" people)...
Long story short, I watched the movie "Cowspiracy", and that was it... I was done eating animals.
I am 52 years old, and have spent a life time making quiet fun of all those grain eater/tree hugger types, only to become one of them.
I tell myself, that I won't get all smug about it, like the herbivores, but truth be told, if "smug" came down like rain, there would be some dude somewhere, building an arc and gathering animals 2 by 2. I have no idea, how people can even stand to be in a room with me.
So... Why does it suck? Well for starters a relativity nice person like me, can turn into a self righteous windbag(In more ways than one... Let's just say that Broccoli is not my friend).
Add to that, I'm the only Vegan I know, so I have pretty much alienated myself from friends and family.
I'm never ever going to eat food again, that I didn't cook for myself or order in a vegan friendly restaurant. It goes without saying that "dinner invitations" are now a thing of the past.
Sure, I can still order my coffee at Timmies, but coffee without cream sucks, and yes, Starbucks does offer non dairy "milk", but let's be honest, Starbucks coffee taste like bath water, and is more expensive.
Christmas is coming up and my poor family is all freaked out about what to feed me(My suggestion that I will just make something and bring it along didn't go over).
I have an awesome amazing girlfriend, who is one of the best cooks I know.... Which is utterly wasted on me now, and suppose we got married? How would that even work? Oh, Let's just cook individual meals for ourselves for the rest of our lives(Oh Yay!!).
AND My favourite 3 things to eat in the world, My Gf's Mac and Cheese, Cinnabon's and Krispy Kreme doughnuts and forever lost to me.
I know I will find new favourite foods, but tonight, I'm just a big kid who wants his blanky.
It's funny, I didn't do it for my health, I'd seen "Vegucated" and "Forks over Knives", and knew all about the health benefits... I just didn't care, I was happy in my little life. Sure I was feeling the effects of a life time of personal food abuse, but that was just the price we pay for eating the way most of us do. It was all of the other reasons, the environment, world hunger, animal cruelty, that convinced me to make the switch.
Even though it wasn't a "health based" choice, I have to admit, that I have never felt better in my post 25 year old adult life. I'm losing weight, I don't hurt as much(intense body pain was becoming so familiar that it was "The norm"). I have a lot more energy. It's only been 2 months, but I feel 15 years younger.
Before, I had heart disease and diabetes to look forward to(I have a family history of both), Now.. Who knows? I'm not a doctor, but I feel, like I'm getting healthier by the day.
Would I go back to the carnivore I was? I truly hope not. Even tonight in my state of crabbiness, it's not really the foods I miss, but having such a huge thing in common with everyone around me. It's kinda lonely. Most of my friends are cheering me on, but I miss being "part of the herd", and I'm not really a pretentious blow hard, but I feel like I am. I don't miss bacon, but I miss being part of "The bacon generation".
I am learning how to cook all over again and that's actually a lot of fun. My beautiful vegetarian daughter taught me the basics and I make it a point to learn a new dish a week. Last week it was mushroom gravy on home made fries(Because, life without gravy is just not a life :-) This week, I think it will be loaded baked potato soup.
And then there's always the nice surprises, like learning that Oreo's and Cap't Crunch are vegan friendly.
All in all, the "V" lifestyle is actually, ok, even fun. It's just, I always thought the hard part would be missing the food, but our culture puts such a social emphasis on what we eat and how we eat it, that really, what I miss the most is, just being part of the gang.
How's that for "Food for thought"?
Peace Kiddies
Add:
I wrote this about a month ago. Let me tell you what I have experienced in this past month.
I have had such amazing support from Family and Friends... That Christmas dinner with my family, that I was so freaked about was just a lovely afternoon, my Brother actually made a Quinoa vegetable stove top stuffing so that I could have some. Friends at work keep bringing in things for me to try, like Vegan French Toast, and baked goods without any animal products in them.
I have learned how to makes some delicious meals, that I can not wait to get home to eat. My Girlfriend even found a recipe for a desert in case I am battling a sweet tooth. My Mother discovered TVP, and excitedly bought me some, even my Daughter and Ex Wife made me a Vegan Chile that was simply delicious
And at no time have the health benefits, been more obvious than last night when I had to shovel snow for the first time this year... Last year, I always shoveled in the dead of night, because I was embarrassed at needing a break every 10 mins.... But last night, I went through that snow in under half an hour, and then took the dog for a walk after... And I was feeling AWESOME!!!!!.
When I originally wrote this I was feeling lonely, being the only Vegan I know... A month later, physically I'm feeling Amazing, and emotionally I have felt so much kindness and acceptance from people with no real reason to be that nice to me....
As for lonely, I've never felt so much a part of everyone around me like I do now, and as for missing my favourite foods? I am developing so many new faves. that put my old ones to shame. :-)
So if you are at that point, where you are feeling isolated and wondering why you began this journey..... Just wait Kiddies. It doesn't just get better, It get's AWESOME!!!!
Peace Kiddies, and Thank You :-) {{Hugs all the way around}}
Lately, the news has been full of human cruelty. There are those who would spread fear and hate by harming innocents.. There is a word for people who walk that path, but I won't dignify them with a label, even a bad one.
Like most people, I've been talking to others and reading social media, to get different perspectives. I even read the words of one individual who's solution to it is literally nuking those who believe differently than him.
I've watched people on Facebook "defriend" and block those whom they considered friends, because they have different views of recent events(It's usually one with a kinder view deleting those with harsher ones)
I spoke to a man who's solution was/is loaded firearms in his home, just in case something happens here. This is a nice man, just scared. I asked another person who has family in Paris, if his family was safe and fortunately they are, even though they live blocks from where so much tragedy took place.
He is one of the nicest people I know, but the look in his eyes when he spoke of recent events was fear and hopelessness. He said; "We are powerless, and there's nothing we can do to protect ourselves".
That look in his eyes has stayed with me for days, and got me thinking of what I can do in the face of so much hatred, fear and violence, how do I protect myself and the ones I love?
I guess, I could have loaded weapons in my house, or I could discriminate against those who believe differently than I do(just in case)... I could panic when I get on the bus, and see someone dressed differently than me, or even be rude and disrespectful to them, because they are somehow "different". I Could do all that and more, and just maybe, I would be safer.
I would not however, still be ME! I would be someone else, a darker crueler version of "me", and that may make me safer, but on the other hand, I don't really believe I would be worth saving. I would have in fact, become part of the cruelty in the world that I am so against. Effectively, the damage to Me, to who I really am, would be far worse in my opinion than any one could do by physically harming me.
So instead, I choose a different path, one that values the essence of who I am, more than the physical person that is me.
I Choose to Love, and Hug with my whole heart, so the people in my world can feel it.
I Choose to show the people in my life how important they are.
I Choose to as much as I can, have a few extra loonies in my pocket, so when the man on the street corner asks for change, I have something to give him.
I Choose to buy an extra jar of peanut butter and drop it in the food bank hamper.
I Choose not to live in fear, but instead to live in kindness.
I make these choices and more, because I know something that the dark forces in the world do not. I know that Kindness and Love Always wins... Even if I'm not around to see it, even if it happens in my Children's life time, or my Grandchildren's..
And in the end, whether I live to a ripe old age and pass in my sleep, or that's taken from me in some act of violence, "They" will not have won because my essence, my soul, or whatever you choose to call that force within us, will still be intact, it will still be "Me".
And THAT is a trade off that I can live with.
Peace Kiddies
PS, a kind friend allowed me to use her painting for this entry, you can find more of her work at selfproclaimedmuse.com
I've been thinking about family and what it means to me.
It started today with someone saying that they get to spend Thanksgiving Day with their "work family". It totally changed how I saw going to work, which until that moment was more like;"I have to go to work on Thanksgiving", with my mental focus really being on what I would be missing out on by going to work(Mmmm... Turkey hehe).
Thinking along those terms, I became aware and very grateful, for not just my Family, but my Families.
I have my three children, who are my Family, they are the most important three humans in my world. They are amazing and brilliant(fortunately they get their brains from their Mom :-) and awesome. Each of them have made me proud in their own way, and continue to do so. I even have an ex wife, who, while the whole marriage thing may not have worked, gave me these amazing children and will always be family.
I have this incredible girlfriend who practically makes my heart melt every time she smiles.. We've been dating for about 2 1/2 years, but truth be told, she's been family for around 5, and her awesome daughter, who has no real reason to be nice to me, but there it is, she's family too.
There's my extended family.. My Mom, Step-dad, Brother and Sister, and my 4 way cool nieces and nephews. They see me at my best and my worst, and love me anyways, and I am blessed to have each of them in my life.
I have family that I don't see very much, my Father, his wonderful wife, and a step brother with a wonderful wife and awesome kids of his own, and a couple of step brothers out west that I haven't seen in years and years, and yet, they are family.
And yes, I have a work family too. Tracey and Tabitha, Theresa, Linda, Lilly, and now Paula. To be honest, they are the ones I see more than anyone.. They are the ones that hound me until I see a Doctor when I'm sick, who surprise me with my favourite treats, and show kindness whether I'm having a good day or a rough one. They just do so many things to show they care, that of course they are family.
Today while I was thinking about family, I realized, that while I have my "blood family", which no one could ever replace(we only get one Mom for example, no one on earth can replace that, so treat her right :-), family can also be all those people in our world, who love us, care about us, and sometimes put our needs in front of their own. When you break it down to it's bare bones.. Family is Love.
So for everyone of you who are my family, blood or otherwise, Today, I am most grateful for YOU!!
I may not have a lot of money, but I am indeed a rich man, and you my Family and Friends who are Family are the treasure that makes it so.
Peace Kiddies, and Thank You :-)
Pride week is almost here in London Ontario.. With that will come celebrations in the form of art, music and of course a big parade. Inevitably there will be grumblings about... "Why don't I get a week for "straight pride". To which I usually reply, "Oh because we have struggled so far to win "Straight Equality"?"..
Maybe if it was called something different, people might not question it as much... What if it were called; "Courage to Be LGBT" Week? Because that's really what we are talking about here... Just plain courage.
I remember when I was a kid, hearing of a gay man, who was hung to death in Florida, for no other reason than his sexual orientation.
I decided to ask the keeper of the sum total of knowledge for the human race(AKA: Google)... When the last time someone was killed just for being Gay.... I thought I would have to go back a bit to find someone... Turns out, I only had to search to April of 2015(That's right... THIS SPRING!!!) His name was Ron Lane, His big sin? He approached someone thinking they were gay as well... He was not and Mr. Lane paid for that error with his life.
In 2011, 20% of all violent crimes(U.S. Stat) were hate crimes against LGBT individuals.
Until Yesterday, when I did my research, I really believed that for the most part, the violence was behind us... Not so, Not even a little bit.
Most of us, will never know the fear of having to get on with our day, going to work or play, leaving the safety of our homes, not knowing if today is a day when we will run across someone who is intolerant and violent.(And before I'm corrected, I am aware that people of different races can experience the same bigotry).
That being said... It does take pride to celebrate who you are and courage? Courage like most of us will never need, to come out together in camaraderie and Brother/Sisterhood and CELEBRATE! To Stand together and say collectively.. We Are Not Going Away, and We Will NOT change... We Love who we are!!"
There is so much to celebrate this year, and let's do just that. Let's celebrate, let's sing and dance, let's hug.. and Let's rejoice that things are just a little less scary than they were last year.. Let's Hope that next year will be less scary still.
And to my LGBT Brother and Sisters... Shine On!!!! And have an Awesome(and so richly deserved) week!!!!
Peace Kiddies :-D
I have an opinion. Sure, that might not be "Stop the Presses" news, but it is mine. I formed it with information I have recently seen, mixed with thoughts that I have formed throughout my life time. The way I grew up affects that opinion, the Church I have always gone to is a factor in it, plus 100's of other factors that I'm not even thinking about.
The fact that I have this opinion is really not that interesting at all. What is interesting is how others might judge me because of it. Actually, my "opinions" are the very least of me... and on the 1-10 scale of importance rates somewhere in the -7 range.
The reason that opinion isn't important is because it is not action, it is just a thought, one that I might choose to share or not.
In my day to day life, I work in a nursing home with people with Dementia. I do what I can to make their days better. I have mopped the brow of a sick person, I have held someones hand and sang softly to them, as they passed from this life to the next. I have 3 wonderful children, an Amazing Girlfriend that I love who also has a daughter that I would be honoured if she were one of my own.
I have bought lunches for random homeless people who needed a meal. Given money to charities and volunteered with high risk youth.
If you knew me, you might even like me... However, if my opinion was different from yours, it is quite possible that it would nullify any positive feelings you may have had about me.
It makes me ask myself, why are we so threatened by different thoughts and beliefs? The thing is, opinions change, all the time.
I know this Man, and have for most of my life. His opinions about most of the things I find important, are the exact opposite if mine. He is quite vocal about his opinions... And if I only told you what those were, you might not like him...
However, this same man is one who is always looking for opportunities to help his fellow human(or animal). Last summer when strong winds knocked a tree over blocking my Dad's entrance, This Man, was the first one there... In fact, I think maybe the only one. He spent his day cutting up and removing that tree, so an old man(my Dad) could come and go and he wished.
I can't even count the times I know of where he has gone to help someone in need. Always with the same smile, warm hand shake and a friendliness you can't help but feel.
He is one of the kindest people I know, And our opinions on many things are polar opposites.
We are in this amazing time in history, there are so many wonderful and long over due changes that are finally happening and it's great. However, everyone will not feel that way. There are bound to be many thoughts, and many opinions.
Here's the thing though, Just because someone disagrees with us on different issues doesn't make them a bad person. In fact, who knows how their opinion(or ours) will change in the coming days months or years? But if we react to that opinion with unkindness and venom, if we nullify their "goodness" in our minds because they feel differently than we do. Then, doesn't that make us the bad person?
Just something to think about.
Peace Kiddies
