True Love

This one defiantly goes in the "What the heck do I know file", but it popped in my mind and I thought that I would give it a go.
No matter how big, strong, tough or independent we are we have this deep down need to be "where someone loves us... best of all"(Quote from "Where the Wild Things are", by Maurice Sendak). It's easier when we are young and we haven't been through the storm. We still believe in the fairy tale ending, "happily ever after". As we get older though, and get the inevitable battle scars that come with life, we tend to stop believing that Sleeping Beauty is just around the corner waiting for loves first kiss to awaken, or that Prince Charming is on his way to rescue us from the dragon, just in the nick of time.
Amazingly though, even the most jaded of us still hold on the one fairy tale; "The Frog Prince". We believe that if we kiss the Frog, they will turn into a Prince. When they don't, well we kiss them again, maybe differently this time. We spend quality time with them, we bribe them with how good the relationship would be if they would only turn into a freakin' Prince, and of course.. they don't. Or maybe they do for a little while. Heck the Frog does love you and wants to make you happy, but at the end of the day, they are just a Frog. Eventually, in the real world, the Frog gets tired of feeling inadequate all the time and moves on.. Or the Princess realizes that this will never be anything more that a Frog, and they move on... then it's  BAM, one more huge scar on the road of life for both of them.
I freely admit, that I am the last person that should be giving advice on relationships, but that being said, when has that ever stopped ANYONE from saying their piece. Besides sometimes the best person to give you advice on how important it is to not quit your job to become a freelance artist, really is the homeless guy in the street.
My thought is... Maybe it's time to stop looking for Prince's and Princess's, maybe it's time to start looking for Frogs. Everyone has qualities, talents and characteristics that we can respect, admire and even love... That's the easy part. It's easy to love the Deep, Rich chocolate cake with the decadently sweet icing. Anyone can do that(well except me, I don't like chocolate cake, but you get the point hehe). What's harder is to love those dried up pieces of cake and icing crumbs that get scraped in the trash before cleaning the dish.
While that may work for cake it doesn't do a thing for people, because if you love someone with your whole heart... then you don't just love the Prince(ss), but the Frog as well. Hence maybe it's time to appreciate Frogs... Frogs are real, they are not "pretend" like Prince(ss)'s. 
I am not suggesting that we should not have standards, or that we should settle for second best. I am just saying that perhaps  picking  our Prince's and Princess's who's inner frogs make us smile might not be such a bad idea, and if we don't find such a creature.... there are worse things in life than being alone, ask any physically abused or emotionally starved married person.
As for me... I will not settle for a mere Princess. If I give my heart away, it will be to nothing less than a Mona Lisa, and her frog will make me grin from ear to ear....


But maybe that's just me.


Peace Kiddies

Who knew

I have never been a fan of sports. I find them boring. I don’t get them and have never understood the appeal. My list of most boring sports in order are ;

1) Soccer... I mean come on, a bunch of guys kicking a ball in a 2 big field? I'd rather have a root canal.

2)Golf

3)Baseball

4)Football

5)And the least boring... but still not exciting, would be Hockey

Asking my sports minded buddies what it was all about, most just answered by saying things like... “I don’t know man, it’s just awesome” .. Oh now I get it, thanx.

I grew up with no dreams of making the big league, truth be told, when I was a kid I thought it would be kool to be part of the Ice Capades(There’s a deep dark secret that no one should EVER know).

While my much hipper and cooler brother was playing on hockey teams, and consequently keeping company of these very attractive creatures called "Girls", I hung out with the nerds in the science club(yeah I didn’t date much in high school).

So imagine my surprise when a couple of days ago, I found myself at a major league baseball game. What was even more of a surprise was that I had been looking forward to it for almost 2 weeks. All I can say now is.... I get it. I mean what a blast. Right from the awesome way the national anthem was sung, to the strikes, hits, pop flies... I asked so many stupid questions trying to figure out what was going on that when I ordered a hot dog and the vendor offered to cut it up in bite sized pieces so I wouldn’t choke.

People actually do “The wave”, which I missed every time but once, when I quit watching the game and just concentrated on “catching” the next one. Everyone started cheering once and when I asked why I found out that someone had stolen a base.. I missed it because I was staring intently on the batter.

I’m not a die hard fan though, because I was feeling bad for the visiting team. No one was cheering them at all, and I wanted them to get at least one run in, so they could go home with even a little dignity. Alas that wasn’t in the stars, because the Jays RULE and Tampa Bay Drools.

So now, I can`t wait for my next game... Except next time I want some Jays Gear, to show off my team, and I want to see if I know enough now that the Hot Dog vendor won`t offer to cut up my frank.

I still think that soccer is more boring than watching trees grow (sorry to my European friends).. But it does make me wonder what it would be like to see a Football or Hockey game. And if anyone ever ask me what the appeal is I`ll say "I don`t know man, it`s just AWESOME!!!!"

Who says you can`t teach an old dog new tricks. :-D

Peace Kiddies

Nature.. Gods way of letting us know that he's still there

I live in a townhouse, in a typical city. I don't see any bears, moose or mountain lions at my place. The other night however, I left my humble home only to see about 15 of my neighbors staring intently into space. When I asked one of them what everyone was looking at she told me "Fireflies". Sure enough, as I stood with the small crowd, I saw the familiar green flicker of many of the little flying light bulbs . It was actually quite cool. I stayed for 5 mins or so, but then was reminded by the growling of my stomach the reason for this particular outing... Hunger, and no food in the house. So I left my enraptured neighbors to their light show and left for some needed groceries.

Nature is one of those things though, that no matter how insanely fast life gets, it always makes us pause to wonder.

I LOVE ducks, and squirrels. Chipmunks and raccoons, although I did hear a horrifying raccoon story the other day from a friend that makes me believe that raccoons are just like people. For every 100 of them, 99 are good and 1 needs to be shot . I digress, I would stop my car on the way to the ER, if I were alone, to watch deer in a field. As it turns out, I am not alone in my fascination for wild life. Being anywhere near it, just makes us calmer and feel better.
We even bring it home with us. Most of us own a dog or cat, and try to keep alive at least 1 house plant, heck I have a tree in my kitchen(No idea what kind it is), that is immortal. No matter how badly I neglect it, it just keeps growing and thriving.

While not everyone goes to the park to feed the geese when they are feeling blue, it always pulls me out of the doldrums.

What is the point of today's Blog? None really, except that it is a beautiful summers evening, there are birds singing and I`m going to go and pick up some peanuts and feed some squirrels. For some silly reason, that makes me really happy.

Or maybe that`s just me.


Peace Kiddies

Borrowed from someone else

This story isn't mine, but was actually borrowed from a gentleman by the name of Shane Boehmer. It has a great message and I thought it was well worth passing along.
Enjoy kiddies, and Thanx Shane



One day I had lunch with some friends. Jim, a tall, balding golfer type about 80 years old, came along with them---all in all, a pleasant bunch.

When the menus were presented, we ordered salads, sandwiches, and soups, except for Jim who said, "Ice Cream, please. Two scoops, chocolate.

I wasn't sure my ears heard right, and the others were aghast. "Along with heated apple pie," Jim added, completely unabashed.

We tried to act quite nonchalant, as if people did this all the time.. But when our orders were brought out, I didn't enjoy mine.

I couldn't take my eyes off Jim as his pie a-la-mode went down. The other guys couldn't believe it. They ate their lunches silently and grinned.

The next time I went out to eat, I called and invited Jim. I lunched on white meat tuna. He ordered a parfait.
I smiled. He asked if he amused me
I answered, "Yes, you do, but also you confuse me.

How come you order rich desserts, while I feel I must be sensible? He laughed and said "I'm tasting all that is Possible.

I try to eat the food I need, and do the things I should. But life's so short, my friend, I hate missing out on something good.

This year I realized how old I was. (He grinned) I haven't been this old before."
"So, before I die, I've got to try those things that for years I had ignored.

I haven't smelled all the flowers yet. There are too many trout streams I haven't fished. There's more fudge sundaes to wolf down and kites to be flown overhead.

There are too many golf courses I haven't played. I've not laughed at all the jokes. I've missed a lot of sporting events and potato chips and cokes.

I want to wade again in water and feel ocean spray on my face. I want to sit in a country church once more and thank God for His grace.

I want peanut butter every day spread on my morning toast. I want un-timed long distance calls to the folks I love the most.

I haven't cried at all the movies yet, or walked in the morning rain. I need to feel wind on my face. I want to be in love again.

So, if I choose to have dessert, instead of having dinner, then should I die before night fall, I'd say I died a winner, because I missed out on nothing. I filled my heart's desire. I had that final chocolate mousse before my life expired.."

With that, I called the waitress over.. "I've changed my mind, " I said. "I want what he is having, only add some more whipped cream!"

Be mindful that happiness isn't based on possessions, power, or prestige, but on relationships with people we like and respect. Remember that while money talks, CHOCOLATE ICE CREAM SINGS!

Stuff

They say that money can’t buy happiness; they also say that you can’t take it with you when you go. I have no idea who “they” are, but I suspect that they are people with lots of money and “toys”.
While I would simply love to have the chance to prove that money may not buy happiness, but it can put a smile on your face, something happened to me today that sort of proved that “Stuff” really isn’t as important and we may think it is.

One of my kids showed up today with an old Gameboy SP. It was just sitting on the piano. I actually had to stare at it for a min. Before it registered for me what it even was. The Gameboy SP, back when it came out, was the ultimate in hand held gaming. Clear screen, back lit, and folded neatly in your pocket. Man I wanted one so much, that I would have sold a body part to get it. Not something useless like a pinkey toe either... a good part. I remember trying to convince my kids that they wanted one for Christmas, so that I would have an excuse to buy one, then I could borrow it(Dad fail)... Those were days before it occurred to me that I could have just bought one for myself. Every time I saw an 11 year old playing Zelda on their SP, it just made it worse.
Today though, I was holding this relic in my hands wondering what the big deal was.

When I was younger, and cameras came with film. I wanted a 35 mm camera so badly that I could taste it.. A cool Nikon. I had visions of becoming a photographer. It was a great dream, I never got the camera. Today though I have this little Hp digital, with a memory card big enough to take portraits of every human being in North America(well almost)...It’s pretty simple by today’s standards, but it takes nice pictures and it’s fun to use. That old Nikon that I wanted? Just another relic in life. How fleeting “Stuff” is. Yet we strive for it, wish for it.. Work for more stuff, bigger houses and nicer toys.

I have been on both sides of that scene. My home is rather humble to look at. It used to have leather furniture, Solid wood tables, a King size bed that cost well into the four digits to buy(and it really was super comfy). A few years and a divorce later.. It’s all old beat up and used. My couch and chair came from a nice family who were getting rid of it, my King size bed has been replaced by a smaller but still comfy bed that someone else was getting rid of. In fact pretty much everything that I own now was given to me by kind people who no longer needed it. My computer was new when I bought it, and my boys have both purchased their own. To look at the place though, you would not be impressed. My “Stuff” is all old.

What does that mean to me though? Well there is an old chair that one of my boys claims as his own. If he is in the house, he’s there. He will fall asleep in it before wondering to his room around 5 am to finish off the night in there. The old couch belongs to my other son. He sets his laptop on the old glass and wood, straight from the 70’s coffee table and pretty much lives there when he’s awake. The recliner? Well my daughter lays claim to that when she comes over. My walls have no expensive art pieces. They do have framed works of Art from all 3 of my children. The carpet has strips torn out of it, where our Puppy pulled them out when she was younger. She did wreck the rug, but looked so cute doing it, that we pretty much just laugh when we talk about it. My smaller bed really doesn’t matter that much... the big dog would kick me out of it even if it were super duper king size.. Oh and I can’t forget my van.. old but running, and so many memories. I have been told that a single guy just can’t look cool in a Mini Van, that may be true... But it’s the van I took the kids to the beach in, or to rented cottages.... fishing and on trips, if I were a millionaire tomorrow I’d probably just keep driving it.

Looking at that old gameboy, just put everything into perspective for me. No you can’t take it with you when you go. But I believe that you take your memories, and your experiences with you. My home may be humble to look at, but I guess I don’t really see the furniture. I see the memories of the past and the ones that are being made now. I hear music, jokes and laughter, the groans and cheers of 3 way internet gaming or, the sound of crazy dogs that just have to play “Chase” at 4am. Honestly when I first was given my “new’ stuff, I was grateful but I also looked forward to the day when I could get nicer stuff, but you know, I've never had a kid fall asleep on the leather. It was beautiful to look at but it was never where people “Hung Out”. It held no memories... I’ll keep my old beat up stuff, and not freak out when the dogs jump on it, or someone spills their Pepsi on it. When the house is empty, I still see one boy on his chair, the other one on the couch and my beautiful daughter in the recliner.
It's also a visual reminder of the kindness of people, who really had no reason to show such generosity towards me. It is truly humbling.
Sure sometimes I want toys, better stuff, and cooler things... It’s part of the human experience I guess.... But when I walk in my door and see what I see, I just have to smile and be grateful for how blessed I truly am.
If no one plays with the “SP”, I think that I will put it somewhere where it can be seen.. as a reminder of what’s important.

Oh and by the way... I make that van look cooler than a snow cone in January :-P

Peace Kiddies

What happened to us guys?

Sorry ladies... This one is "Guy Talk" for the dudes out there... read if you like and thank me later.

Holy Crap guys.... what happened to us? What happened to chivalry, or Gallantry .. or how about just plain being a gentleman???
I know that for the most part, we have a pretty big ego. We pretty much believe that the sun rises and sets on our "manhood".... But here's a newsflash for everyone. For the most part, we are fairly unappealing to the fairer sex. With us it seems , they can never have it all. If they want someone successful they get stuck with some guy who's married to his career. If they want someone laid back, they end up playing second fiddle to an X-Box. So we can ill afford to loose some of the few qualities that we have that make them choose us over, spending the evening drinking Margaritas with the girls at the office.
Why the rant? Here's the deal; I was riding the bus today, toward the back. The bus is packed, standing room only, when this woman who must have been 70 years old... with a cane boards the bus. She stood there, while the younger men sitting in the front seats dedicated to the disabled and elderly, sat there ignoring her. The bus pulls away and is almost at the next stop when this girl, around 14 or 15, looks up from her Ipod, sees the woman, gasp that she is standing there and immediately gets up and gives her a seat. That same scene played itself out not once but twice on the same bus ride. Makes me think that as men, we are reverting somehow to the Neanderthals that we spawned from.
Now I'm not perfect, just ask my ex-wife, but be prepared to stay for the afternoon, and part of the evening(sadly, it's all true).....But in the interest of helping out my fellow man. I thought I would share some tips that your parents should have already taught you.

1) Obviously when a woman boards the bus that needs your seat, maybe a senior or a woman with children... get off your chunky butt and give it(also works if the senior is a male).. Nuff said.

2)It's OK(when I say "Ok",I really mean "expected")to hold the door for a woman... This includes your date, your wife, mother, daughter, or the stranger lady at the mall... Really this isn't rocket science.

3)Open the car door for your date/wife/mother/daughter... honestly they should be unaware that the passenger door even has a handle, because they never use it.

4)When sitting on the couch, watching a movie with your significant other and you have the urge to ask her to get you a sandwich.... remember these words and repeat them ; "Honey, can I get you a drink"? Are we starting to get the picture?

5)When the woman offers to pay for dinner, she is just being polite... the answer is "No It's Ok I've got this one"... yes even if you are spending rent money and you need to panhandle tomorrow.

6)If she is talking to you and you are answering her while watching TV,Sports, or on your computer... remember this my friend.... She has OPTIONS. She can find someone who loves the sound of her voice tomorrow. You on the other hand, most likely don't.

Teach your kids.... The day some boy picks up my daughter for a date, and she stands outside the passengers door waiting for him to come out and open it. I will know that I did OK as a Dad. As a side note, the day some guy beeps his horn in the driveway for her to come out, is the day I go out and rip off his arm and staple it to the passengers door handle. When he gets it reattached, he'll know better.

That is my rant for the day. Along with my challenge, lets be the men that stand out in the crowd... for not being a douche bag male that would let an elderly woman stand on the bus.


Peace Kiddies

She grew up

My little girl graduates Grade 8 tonight. How did that even happen?

Just last week she was born. It was Tuesday morning. There had been a flash thunderstorm that had just blown through, and then she was born. As I held my new daughter in my arms, and looked into those brown eyes, I knew at that moment, that I would do anything for her. I was her Dad, and if she wanted, her slave as well. She pretty much owned my soul from that first second.
A couple of days later, she was walking, exploring everything around her with abandon. Every night I would rock her to sleep, singing James Taylor songs, or her other favorites, until she was simply too big to carry.
We read every night. The early days were books like "Jesse Bear... What will you wear"(By Nancy White Carlsrtom), where she got her nickname that she still lets me call her, and "The Tomten"(by Astrid Lingrin). Next it was Robert Munch and finally books like "The Little Princess", and "Anne of Green Gables. My time reading to each of my children will always be my warmest fondest memories of parenthood.
A few days later, a very determined 8 year old taught her self to ride her bike. Just a pump here and there on the pedals, then a couple... and before long she was a racing girl... zipping around the perimeter of her boundaries.
Those days were also filled with watching the food network... Iron Chef, Emeril live, and others.. she actually learned and before long would discuss with me which spices to use in the dishes we cooked together, or she cooked on her own. Now what seems like a week later.. she is graduating. What will the next week bring? Well High school, University, maybe a career as a singer(as she is practicing to become). Probably a family of her own, and the opportunity to sing my grandchildren to sleep, or read to them with stories of "I read this book to your Mom".
Who even knew that, in what seems like a week, my cute, brown eyed sweet smiled baby girl, would turn into the beautiful young woman that I will watch tonight.

My little baby girl, if you ever read this.... know that I am so very proud of you and the young lady that you are turning out to be. If you look into the crowd and you see me wiping away a tear.... You can pretend that you don't know me... LOL, That will be fine.
No matter where you go in your life or what you do, You will always be my baby girl... and you will always have a father that loves you... no matter what.

Have fun tonight....


Love You Forever, as long as I'm living , my baby you'll be

Love Dad