Heroes come in all shapes and sizes. If I asked the average person who their heroes were, they would likely regale me with names of Athletes, maybe some movie stars...Followed by Solders, Police, Fire and Ambulance and others who keep us safe and free(Yes, I know it should be the other way around).
Today though, I was reminded that there are some Heroes, that just don't get the recognition they deserve.. So this is me, getting the ball rolling. There will be no names, but they will know who they are :-)
My Heroes today are;
The Young Person, who had so much anxiety about finding a job, that they would actually feel ill just dropping off Resume's... But tonight, worked their very first shift, on their very first job. You! Are my Hero.
Another Person, who last year spent so much time in the hospital for an eating disorder, but now has a job, has been accepted at school, and is doing great. You! Are my Hero.
How about the One who, even though, deals with anxiety, and almost constant physical pain, still chooses to focus on others, whether it's feeding the homeless, helping those in times of grief, or advocating for proper resources for mental health. You! Are my Hero.
One More;
The person who has dealt for years with depression and anxiety that Doctors have so far been unsuccessful in treating. Yet, they get up every day and go to work. They They take care of their family. They may now and then give up for a day, but the next day, they get back at it. You! Are my Hero.
The fact is, we all know "Unsung Heroes", but unlike the celebs or the Guys and Gals in uniform, most of them we don't recognize. However, if we think of the ones we are aware of, it gives a bit of a picture of how many are out there.
They are an example of perseverance, of courage, and an unbeatable spirit, And courage, my friends, is courage. Whether it's walking onto the battle field, or walking into a burning building, or taking those first steps out of bed in the morning, when you are so scared and want more than anything to hide under the covers...
They say; "The Answer starts with me"... So I'm going to start to make my Heroes Unsung no longer.. But wouldn't it be cool, if the answer started with you too :-D
Peace Kiddies
Life in Average Joe land has been pretty interesting lately....Like everyone else, it's had it's ups and downs. Today however, was a day off of work and there were plans for Pj's and Netflix with my Awesome daughter... Not quite what happened though. It started with a bank error that required me to trade my warm home and Pj's for my grown up clothes and cold bus ride to the bank. Which truly was almost the perfect ending to a week that had me dropping or breaking everything I touched(a bit of a draw back working in a Nursing Home) and just the day to day stuff that tends to bog us down.
How does the chocolate cake come in? We're getting to that.
After I left the bank, rather stressed but glad everything was resolved, and calling my Daughter, I found myself in my Favourite Cafè, where I spotted the Amazingly decadent chocolate cake pictured above... Now, if you know me... You know, that I don't really eat chocolate cake much... In fact, my lovely girlfriend makes the only one I like, but I was thinking that maybe I'd make an exception for this one.
I waited in line, behind 2 people.. One man, obviously some kind of professional and another gentleman who appeared to be as homeless as they come. Guess what he wanted? Chocolate cake, but when he went to pay, he was short a couple of bucks... The cashier was explaining this to him when I signaled to her to just give it to him, and I'd cover it.
I'm not trying to blow my own horn, People do that kind of thing all the time... However what I do want to say is, I felt Great... Not a small thing, because I walked in there grumbly and stressed. One act of kindness changed all that. Sure it made him happy, but it made me feel amazing.
I started wondering why so many pass up opportunities for kindness... I have heard people say that they are too busy, or too stressed, but I would argue that if a person is too busy, it's probably day to day grind stuff and likely isn't anything that will bring a lot of joy(Except if you're too busy tanning on a beach somewhere, then I guess you're excluded from this :-) Busy and Stressed sucks, I'm sure everyone can agree with that, but what if the cure doesn't come from pills or medicine, what if the cure is simply reaching out and showing kindness to someone who needs it?
I have always known that I felt better when I do nice things, but I have never fully appreciated until today how huge a mood changer it can be....
The selfless thing to say would be... "Be Kind, The World needs more of that".... But really, now I'm saying... "Be Kind, Do Good, sure the world will benefit, but not nearly as much as you will".
But don't take my word for it. You'll never know for sure until you try...
Peace Kiddies :-)
With the passing of Robin Williams yesterday from apparent suicide, people are collectively grieving the loss of such a talented individual who has made most of us laugh and cry either from his comedy or his poignant dramatic acting. Social network sights have exploded with condolences, memories and some beautiful tributes. I'm not going to do that as others have done it far more eloquently that I could.
Instead I'm writing about what can be learned from this.
Mental illness is as real as it gets, and I address this to anyone who deals with depression or anyone who knows someone who does.
Unfortunately, there is still a lot of taboo around any form of mental illness, particularly depression. People use the term; "I'm depressed" for everything from they are ready to end their own life, to... Their favourite team lost the Superbowl. The fact of the matter is, that depression is not a case of the blues, or just having a bad day, it's diagnosed and a genuine condition that can't be cured by some good news or a plate of cookies.
If you suffer from depression, there are things you need to be aware of:
1- We all have that voice in our head that stops us from doing or saying stupid stuff....If we're about to jump out of a plane that voice will tell us that it might be a good idea to put on the parachute first.
However, when we are depressed, that voice is not our friend.. In fact it is a huge LIAR!!!! It will tell us things like.. "We won't be missed", or "Everyone will be better off"... It will try and convince you that there is no hope.. That this is all that will ever be. It will tell us these and many other things, none of which are helpful in the least.....So as hard as it may seem, we need to ignore that voice.
2- Sometimes it's ok to hide, but eventually we need to come out for air. When you do,... TALK TO PEOPLE!!! Tell them where you're at. I'll be honest, some will think you're looking for attention, others may even avoid you and most will be uncomfortable... Guess What? It doesn't matter. You're not telling them for them, you're telling them because you need to NOT keep this a secret.
Choose the people in your life that see you at your best, even when you're not.. This isn't the time to try to bond with people who treat you like crap all the time.
People get uncomfortable, not because they don't care, but because they don't know how to help.
3-WRITE.... Start some journals... Now the natural inclination is to write all the stuff you see as wrong with your life. That isn't really going to help. Part of depression is the need to fixate on the negative... Consider, if it helps, that depression is like a life form, and it will try and make you do all those things that will feed it. So when you write... Don't feed it, write about the positives in your life. Have a gratitude journal and every night before you go to bed, write 5 things about your day that you are grateful for.. Dig deep if you have to... You could say negatively that everyone ignored you while you hid in your room for example.. Or you could be grateful that they let you rest.... FIND THE POSITIVE.. And yes, it may be tough... But then again, so are YOU!{Even if you don't feel that way this very second}
4-If you get to that point, where you can not see a reason to go on.... and you're making a plan to stop that process... RUN, don't walk, to the hospital and get professional help.
Sometimes when I hear people say that no one would miss them(Which is utter BS that the voice inside is feeding them).. I tell them a story of a Man I met when I worked at a homeless shelter... Just because a person is homeless, it doesn't make them any less valuable than any one else.... But sadly in many ways it does make them invisible. The man in my story is one of these invisible people. He would come in at night when I worked the night shift. I'd give him a drink and a sandwich and we'd talk. Actually he did most of the talking and I sat there glued to every word. He spoke with the flair of a Shakespearean Actor and was very well educated. I don't know what events in his life led him to where he was, he never spoke of it, but I enjoyed our visits.
One winters night, I came into work and learned that they had found him in the snow behind an old building that morning. He died alone, outside in the cold and the world just went on... I remember reading the paper the next day, and there was no report on his death, I watched the news and the same.. Nothing... But when the afternoon staff left and there was just us night crew there, I excused myself, found a dark quiet room, and cried like I'd lost a family member. There were 3 of us working that night and as the night wore on someone else would slip away and come back after with the same tell tale runny nose and red eyes.. We all commented on how bad allergies were this year(to explain the red eyes)....
He was invisable to the world, but his loss did not go unnoticed, and we were not better off.
Look around you, see the people in your life and do not listen to the voice that says they don't or won't care.... Because they do and they need you to be there.
I know what I know, because I have walked that road, I have been there and I can honestly say that if it wasn't for the people in my life then that cared about me, i would not be writing this today.
I believed all that the voice told me and I hated myself. I believed my children would be better off.... I believed there was no hope... I believed that I was a failure and had no right to be here. And yet, here I am.. Sure I have bad days like every one else, but I like myself... No, I Love myself. More than that, I have joy in my life....
So Please, don't listen to the "voice".... But just for now, listen to me... Yes, I have been there and I can promise you that it does get better, that there is hope and light at the end of the tunnel.
And finally.... The Suicide Prevention Hotline for London Ontario is (519)933-2023 or Toll Free at 1-866-933-2023
Sometimes the gift that is more valuable to our loved ones, but they may never understand enough to even appreciate, More valuable then all the Christmas or Birthday presents we have ever given ... Is to just go on, one more day. They are worth it, and so are you.
Peace Kiddies
It's true, no one is perfect... Which becomes obvious when you're looking for the remote and "No One" was the last one with it :-P
Really though, as much as we may try, there's always room for improvement.
Heck, I try to live a life based on kindness and being good to people, but I have grumpy days when I don't feel up to dealing with Joe Public. I like being nice, but once in a while I'm wearing my grumpy pants and being nice is the last thing on my mind.
I believe all sorts of good and wonderful things, but sometimes{*Cough, Usually} I may not live up to all those ideals.
Occasionally I can beat my self up a bit with questions like, "Why aren't I better?" or "Why am I not doing more?" Especially if I compare myself to friends and acquaintances who are literally changing the world around them.
The idea of only comparing ourselves to the person we were yesterday is a good one, except for those difficult days when we most likely feel like the person we were yesterday was actually better than the one we are today.
Those are the days when kindness is most important. I don't mean "helping seniors cross the street" kindness either(but if you have the chance, go for it :-) I mean kindness to ourselves. Because there is one thing that we know, that few others do, and that is what is in our hearts.
Everyone has bad days... Everyone flunks an exam, everyone gets crabby and, everyone yells at their kids now and then. What is it then that sets us apart from others who regularly give into their anger, or thrive in being cruel and unkind? What separates us from them, is what is in our hearts... The very fact that someone is trying to show kindness in their everyday lives.... Or that someone has the desire to be patient with their children. Even the desire to be a good friend, puts them miles in front of another who doesn't care.
The challenge then on the "Bad" days, is to look deep inside and see who we really are, and just as importantly, who we really want to be... And then, Cut ourselves some slack!!!!!
It's amazing what we will accept in someone we care about, we give them the benefit of a doubt. We say things like.."They are just having a bad day". We acknowledge that they might be stressed because of other circumstances and then we forgive them.
While that is a wonderful trait, it's just as important to show ourselves the same compassion... And, surround ourselves with people who will do it for us, when we can't.
Life is a journey, not a race.....There's no prize for finishing, we collect our prizes along the way. I think the gift that too few of us collect is the gift of Self Love..... And that might be the biggest one of all.
So if no one has told you today..... YOU are worth kindness. You are worth compassion, and YOU are worth another chance to try again tomorrow. When that voice in your head says otherwise, brush it away, because YOU are better than that.
Peace Kiddies :-)
It turns out though, I'm just annoying :-P
How, You ask, could someone like me....Who is obviously bubbling over with Awesome, be annoying?
Well, Here's the thing. I would rather ask another human being a question than "Google" it.
Oh sure, I like to Google SOME questions.. Some things are a tad personal like that time I noticed a.... Well never mind.. Some things are indeed best to look up on our own... But normal stuff? Naw, I'm going to look for someone who knows more than me.
Computers and Internet are Awesome, I can't even imagine my world without them any more. One of the coolest things about them is how they connect us... We can have regular contact with people we haven't seen in decades..
Questions, however, used to be something that brought us together.. We all know different things and once upon a time, those who knew the most things, were considered wise and even used as resources. Now, if anyone wants to know anything... We just have to hit the Net, and while having the entirety of the worlds knowledge at our finger tips is convenient.. It takes away from the Human element of connecting with others to gain information.
Up until recently, The Old taught the Young the things that they deemed important. Now the Old for the most part have to keep that knowledge to themselves... Because we have a new generation of People, who can look anything up in fractions of a second.
I'm not saying it's all bad, but I am saying that while we gain, we also lose.
Have you ever wrestled with a question? Something simple like "Where have I seen the actor in that movie?"... You think about it, your brain goes into overdrive, and still, you don't figure it out. Then something else comes up and you move on, but your brain, even while you are not thinking about it, is still working on the question. Then maybe 2 days later, you are driving to work and BOOM!!!!!! It Pops in your head and you go "AH HA!!!!!". THAT feeling, that euphoria we feel is amazing and only comes from working it out, even if that includes asking other people... It does not ever happen, by having the answer handed to you in 0.00001 seconds after you type the question.
Before the art of seeking knowledge though our fellow person became irritating, it was a way that we could share and feel better about ourselves. We could pass on knowledge(not to be confused with advice), to those who sought it. We felt better about ourselves and bonds grew between us and the one who asked the question.
While that isn't gone entirely, it is fading. In another 100 years when we are all wearing our Google Glasses, or whatever technology brings us that way... the Art of Question asking will be gone, a thing of the past, but I for one, am not ready to let it go just yet.
So if I see you and ask you what you know about baking bread, or gardening, or even where the nearest Taco Bell is.. There will be no harsh feelings if you tell me to Google it, but those who take the time out of their busy day to answer the question will have both, my admiration, and gratitude.
After all, What good is all the time that we are(supposedly) saving from having computers do a lot of the hard stuff for us, if we don't use at least some of it to connect with the people around us.
Just something to think about
Peace Kiddies :o)
In a couple of days, I will be, with some Awesome friends, starting the 100 Days of Happiness challenge(Link at the end).. Basically it's about being aware of what brings you joy and finding something every day that does.. then taking a picture of it and sharing it.
I haven't even started, but already I am becoming more aware of the things in life that make me smile on a day to day basis.. the trouble is, a lot of this stuff, you can't really take pictures of.
For example... Today, it was a beautiful day.. I opted to walk and bus as opposed to driving. I was standing in the sunshine, waiting for the bus, rocking to some great music and feeling fantastic..It was great, just not something I could really take a picture of.
I did get a really cool Jann Arden pin, from a kind friend.. That will be a picture(My MP3 player has Mucho Jann Arden :-)
Later while waiting in line at a variety store, the kid in front of me(17ish) was trying to buy a $2.00 Slurpee, but was having trouble with his bank card. After his 3rd try I was about to step in and say that I'd cover it, when the woman behind the counter, said in a very thick accent.. "Don't worry about it, you're in here all the time, just pay me the next time you're in."... The kid didn't understand, because I think he was in such shock over her act of kindness(Many store owners aren't exactly teenager friendly). She repeated herself and he smiled, thanked her, took his drink and was on his way. I told her she totally made my day by her kindness, because she truly had.
Again, not something I could really take a picture of(It's just creepy for some random guy to ask to take your picture, I'm sure LOL).
So what makes me happy that I could take a photo of? Let's see; First would have to be my 3 amazing children, each so different from each other, and each with their own brand of Awesome that makes me proud to be their Father every day.
I have the most Amazing Girlfriend who is brilliant and beautiful, who has the kindest heart of anyone I have ever met, and even when were apart, the fact that she's there brings me smiles every day.
I have a wonderfully kind and supportive family, My Mom, Brother and Sister.
I have a very cool job, and work with people who are more than co workers, they are my friends.
I have a Zoo of furry animals(one with feathers), that greet me at the door every day, and curl up with me to watch horribly cheesy movies(and a generous amount of Dr. Who :-) every evening. They make me happy(You know... Most of the time LOL).
I have so much to be grateful for, and so much in my life that makes me happy.... I'm looking forward to discovering, perhaps those happy things that I'm not so aware of, or those I've been taking for granted...
I'll keep you posted.. :o)
Peace Kiddies
http://100happydays.com/ <<<<<<< Link :-)
As far back as I can remember, I've always had a "Place", a magical spot that was quiet and serene. It was somewhere where I could go to sit and think, to stare and ponder life's mysteries.. And above all, find that centered feeling that we can sometimes lose in the day to day.
I have never sought out these places, more like I've stumbled upon them, and then almost unconsciously, found myself there when the need arose.
I remember in my mid teens, when we lived in a small town near Ottawa, there was a marshy area behind the farm house we lived in.. In the summer most of the water dried up leaving a pond where the beavers lived.. I had an old tree that fell across the pond that I would sit on. Sometimes I'd bring lunch, and just "Be" for hours. No cell phones back then, it was too far away to hear a parents call, for all intents and purposes, I was just alone with my thoughts and some passing by beavers.
In the city I live in now, there is a big park, that's been my "Place" for years... I've made most of my big decisions there...I got the ideas for some of my personal favourite writing while watching the passing river, and listening to the ducks. I have heard people say that folks talk to God, but never sit still long enough for him to talk back, my park is a place where I actually do sit and listen. Sometimes I hear nothing, and sometimes I get a thought or idea that never occurred to me before.
When I was younger, many of my thoughts were how to please others and gain their acceptance(That failed miserably LOL). Now my thoughts are more like.. How do I show the people that I love how important they are to me.
I'm thinking of this tonight I think, because like many people, I love my technology... I love my smart phone, my computer.. I do the Facebook/Twitter thing, and a lot of it is in the interest of "Being Connected" to friends, family, the people I care about.... But when I picture sitting on my bench, in my park... watching the clouds, the river, and passing roller bladers, I realize that sometimes the best way to connect with myself, is to shut all that off now and then.... And then(Stay with me now :-) I realized that if I truly want to connect with those that I care about, maybe that has the same answer. A text is wonderful, but getting together for a tea is a thousand times better.... A Happy Birthday on someones "wall" brings smiles... But lets face it.. a phone call or better yet, a quick "Just wanted to drop off this birthday cupcake"... Means I care enough to make time for you.
Here in the great white north, it seems this winter will never end. Even so, soon it will be Spring, and the smell of flowers and grass will fill the air. I will be able to sit on my bench and hopefully reconnect with myself. In the meantime though, I think I'll carry a little of my park with me, and be more fully in this moment. The best way(I believe) to show the people in our lives how much we value them is by giving them our time and being present when we do... I'm choosing to do more of that.
And just as a side note, when I was younger and wished to do the things that would get me accepted by the people around me... It ended poorly most of the time. It never turned around for me until I learned who I was and decided to be just that.
Something to think about.
Peace Kiddies :-)
PS: Photo taken from: http://www.thedistrictphotographer.com/ Check out their work :-)
