Thursday, April 28, 2011
Making time for the important things
I was watching an interview recently of a same sex couple that had just been married. They spoke on how great it was that society recognized them as a family. A question came up about things like holding hands in public, and the one woman said that it wasn't something they did. She felt that society had come a long way, but was not ready yet, for things like public displays of affection. I thought it sad that holding hands had to be reserved for watching a movie on ones own couch.
That got me on a people watching mission, I was wondering how couples in general interact in public.. Here is what I saw;
Most couples dropping the other off someplace, basically say a hasty goodbye, then leave.. Pick ups are similar.. Most couples walking do not hold hands.. The exception seems to be people in their 60's and 70's, they seem to be aware of something the rest of us aren't. Even sitting at breakfast at a place like MacDonalds, it's not uncommon to see one reading the paper, and the other a book... In public it seems, that many couples interact like distant strangers.
What does it mean? I don't know, I'm sure that most couples love each other and are among other things are perfectly good friends. I think we just grow complacent with time..I don't know for sure what the solution is, but as odd as this may sound, I think that we could learn something from our pets.
I have a 6 year old Standard Poodle, named Brechin... I know that poodles are supposed to be smart, but mine is just a big ol' silly dog. He is a family pet, but he worships my middle son. When my son is home, he sleeps with him, he plays with him.. he follows him around..but that isn't the part that we can learn from...
When my son leaves.. Brechin barks and carries on, like he'll never see him again. He walks him to the door, he makes it clear that he will be missed. After he's gone, he just goes back to doing "dog" stuff. When my son comes home, whether it's a few hours, or a few days later.. Brechin FREAKS.. It's like he has just come back from the dead. He's happy, he barks, he jumps on him...It's really quite fun to watch.
Now back to us... What would our good byes look like if it were the last one. What would we say if it were the last time? I imagine that songs could be written based on the good bye kiss alone.
If they walked in the door after we thought that we would never see them again, I'm sure that we would probably stop channel surfing and greet them, like never before.
When I watch older couples walking hand in hand, I think that they've learned something valuable about relationships, and that is to cherish every moment.
It's difficult to do sometimes, in the hustle and bustle of the rat race.. The important things get swept aside , for the things that seem important at the time.
Something to think about though is when ever a disaster has struck anywhere in the world, I have never once heard of someone trying desperately to get to work, or to play golf, or to watch TV...They reach for the ones they love the most... and I guess the question that I would ask is, Why Wait?
I have this friend, he was married to his beautiful wife for 65 years when she passed. If there is one thing that watching them taught me was that 65 years is simply not long enough to be with the person that you love. It goes by so fast that we can not afford to take one single second for granted. We can't waste a moment in anger, apathy or indifference, because the one thing in life that we are guaranteed of is that one day, one good bye, will be our last.
I'm not trying to cry doom and gloom here, just the opposite. I say that whether it's our spouse, parent, child or anyone that we care about.. that we embrace and celebrate each moment. We hug with abandon, we dance at silly inappropriate times, we sing "You are my sunshine" to them when they're sad. Hold hands as if to say "You couldn't possibly be close enough to me". And kiss like it's the very last time(well maybe not our parents and kids but you know what I mean :-P ).
I've heard plenty of regrets as i have spoken to people in my life, not one has ever been.. "I showed too much love to the ones that I care about".
Something to think about.