Sunday, January 19, 2014

A Geeks Perspective


I'm Your Average Joe, and I'm a Geek. Most people who know me know that about me. Maybe not "Geek", in the cool Sheldon Cooper kinda way, more like Gamer Dude, Cartoon watching, SciFi Nut, sort of way. I LOVE all those Super Hero movies. Heck, I even liked Ben Affleck in "Daredevil" (There's something you don't hear a lot).... What a lot of people may not know though is that when I was a kid, the Super Hero I most wanted to be was Iron Man. 
Just the thought of an indestructible battle suit of armor that I could fly around and get the bad guys in was enough to send me day dreaming through the most thrilling of Math classes.

I don't think that little confession is really  note worthy. It's not unusual for a kid to dream of being a Super Hero..... However, what if I told you that I still dream of it, and that I spent all my time and money in my basement building my very own flying suit of iron and doing everything in my power to pattern myself after Tony Stark(The Guy who is Iron Man, for you non geeks :-P  ).
I'm pretty sure I would be thought of as Crazy and if I persisted, my Friends and Family might even send me to the Doctor for some "Special Medication". Because, among other things, I would be patterning my life from something that wasn't even real.... Spending all my time and resources to be like a pretend person.... I may as well say that I wanted to grow up to be the Big Bad Wolf.

What is interesting about that is how clear it is, when I say it.... and it should be, but the fact of the matter is.... People do that all the time and for the most part, it's accepted. They just choose different make believe heroes.

Many times the heroes we follow are celebrities, and while they are real, their photos aren't. Artistic genius's work magic to make people appear flawless and there are so many that diet, exercise and even surgically modify themselves to obtain the look of an Artist rendition of a person, but that rendering is no more real than Iron Man. There's a reason why when we see a celebrity we always ask the question.. "Is that really{insert name here}?"... It's because they don't look like the photo, they just look like the rest of us with all of our flaws.

It's self defeating enough to compare ourselves with anyone, but positively devastating when we compare ourselves to some else's imagination.  

Maybe the solution isn't changing Hollywood, or Cosmo, but teaching ourselves that we are beautiful just as we are. I'm not saying that there is anything wrong with loosing weight, or exercising to be healthy, but I think we need to learn to "love the skin we're in"(That comes from some ad that I can't remember)... because if we don't love ourselves at 250 pounds, we won't love ourselves any more at 150.

And perhaps(Stay with me now :-) we can then be positive role models in loving ourselves to others.... Sometimes amazing changes happen as soon as one person is brave enough to make the first move.

What else? Funny you should ask. To love ourselves we have to feel good about who we are, and I can't think of a better way to do that than acts of Kindness. Imagine that, simply by being nice to each other we can grow to love ourselves, and all of our flaws, and be that example to the people we love the most.

I really believe that if we could all see how truly unique and amazing we are, we would never waste another second trying to be someone else.

Something to think about

Peace Kiddies  

Saturday, January 11, 2014

Racisim. and Other Demons

{Note... I wrote this in the summer time, but took it down to make a few changes, which I have finally done :-)   }

Lately it seems, there has been a focus on celebs who use racial slurs... The latest victim of her own poor judgment is Paula Dean.
She has lost her show and gained the scorn of many North Americans by her use of the "N" word.
While my goal with this Blog has always been to focus on kindness and things that are positive, I thought that I would share my take on the whole Racism thing of today.
Being a person of colour(Half Black), Here is what I know:

My Grandfather was born in a Black settlement outside of Halifax called Africville. It isn't there anymore, because in the 60's, the residents of that community were forcibly relocated and the town was bulldozed. A nice park now sits on the space where he and 5 generations of his forefathers were born. He never really spoke about the harshness of racism in his life, He didn't have to.
My parents.. a Black Man and a White Woman together in the early 60's dealt with a society that didn't think it proper for the two of them to be together... I have heard some stories, they were not good and I admire both of them for following their hearts and not letting anything stand in their way.
As for my life, sure I've dealt with it when I was younger, to a lesser degree.. some name calling, some bullying... and as the non white kid I had "The Cooties"... But as I got older, it became more and more rare.. To be honest I don't remember when the last time was that I felt the sting of Racism.... I live my life, and people who meet me, judge me on all sorts of things.. but I never get the impression that race is one of those things... So when I hear people like Paula Dean and others use racial slurs, I don't think that society is racist... I think that the individual is... and the fact of the matter is.. in 1000 years from now,.. when race isn't even an issue.. there will still be jerks in the world who will say hateful things... It's just life.. But that won't be(Like it isn't) a measure of Mankind.. it will be a measure of an individual.

I know that I have been very blessed in my life. You just have to spend a few minutes watching the News to see that the fight to end racism is not over, but I dare say, that there are those who are suffering greater injustices.

For example... I am not a Caucasian man, but I have an education, I have a decent job.. and I can marry any woman foolish enough to say "I Do". Whether she is White, Black, Hispanic, Asian or any one else...People would celebrate with me.. Come to my wedding and buy us presents..... BUT, Heaven Help me, if the person I loved was a Man....Then Kiddies, In most of North America, I would have the Law against me, I would face persecution from many in society... It would be an act of bravery, just to hold hands with the person I love when we were walking down the street.
It's true... Not everyone would feel that way.. But enough would to make life very uncomfortable...And I guess what I am trying to say, is that while everyone and the media is obsessed that Paula Dean uttered a "No-No" word... We should all be OUTRAGED, That part of our civilized society, doesn't even have the same human rights and the very lowest of the rest of us. We should be outraged that some feel so alienated by who they are, that they have to hide it from the rest of us, That some still have to fight for the right to call themselves a Family.
It's actually a newsworthy item when someone "Comes Out".. Why is that???? I never had to "Come In" to my friends and family... Tom Cruise never had to announce that he was a Heterosexual Male, before he married whoever he's married to now... Even some who feel they are "Enlightened" will say things like "Sure, they can do whatever they want in the privacy of their own home.. as long as we don't allow them to have children."

Yes, it's true.. When I was a young teenager, I was as homophobic as the next guy.. Frankly I had never even met a Gay man until I was almost 20... and I thought he was pretty cool, not because he was Gay, he was just a lot of fun.
The point to that little confession is that I grew up, and like others, left my childish phobias behind. We can preach kindness and love all we want, but it doesn't mean much if with the other hand we hold back and oppress others who are equally deserving, just because we refuse to understand.

In the End, Kindness always wins.. even if it takes a long time, and we can choose to be part of the instrument of that kindness, or know that we were the stumbling block that tried to hold it back.

My Choice, like most of my choices, is the one that allows me to look myself in the mirror at night.. and like who I see.

Is that just me? Thankfully, No.


Peace Kiddies 

Wednesday, January 1, 2014

It's an New Year, Lets make it Awesome :-)

Another years ends and a new one begins...

The New Year is always a time for perspective, figuring out what went wrong, assessing whether it was a good year or not. and what we'd like to change for the upcoming one.

And, with every New Year, comes the endless goals and resolutions from all of us(Yes, me included), so in my January 1st, 2014 Blog, I thought maybe I could toss out a different approach.

WHAT IF.... We all looked in the mirror, and loved who we saw. 
WHAT IF we loved every wrinkle and every pound, 
WHAT IF we looked at our flaws with the same love we use when we see a child struggling to walk. 
WHAT IF we were all grateful for EVERYTHING in that reflection.
WHAT IF we looked in that mirror and said... "You Big(Or little), wrinkled (or Young)... messy haired, unorganized, Fabulous Human Being... You ARE Good Enough, You ARE Smart Enough, and Darn-it... I LOVE YOU!!!!!

And Then( as if part one isn't amazing enough)... Instead of making resolutions to change that magnificent being in the mirror. WHAT IF, We thought to ourselves... "How Can I Make The World a Better Place!!!!!!!"

There are so many ways;

We can volunteer, we can give to noble organizations (Like  the Food Bank), We can LEARN, and spread awareness, We can LOVE those who feel unlovable. There are The Poor, The Homeless,  and People with Who have Emotional or Psych issues that need others who are aware and can help, even support them.
There's the "Breakfast for Kids" programs at most schools, and we can't forget Literacy.

Don't like People? There are animals who need foster homes, or organizations that need Dog & Cat food, and Shelters that need volunteers.

And it can be FUN!!!!  

We can share it with friends, our loved ones, our significant others, and I will tell you first hand.. You want to meet new people? Start spreading Kindness, and just see the amazing folks that cross your path.

It's even ok if we're just doing it to be selfish, What do I mean by that? Well, if there is one thing that I have learned it's that kindness feels GOOD, No Nix that, it feels GREAT!!!!!

There it is... It's one of those things in life, where everyone wins, and there are not nearly enough of those...

Something to think about. 

Happy New Years You Fabulous Human Beings :-) 

Peace Kiddies