Monday, December 6, 2010
Better late than never
It was an interesting week that just passed. Sometimes I'm faced with learning things in life that most others knew pretty much from birth( I can be pretty slow).
First of all, I had to admit that my lovely daughter has been right all along. Justin Bieber is a pretty good singer(yeah, that was a tough one to man up to), however, even in the face of all the Bieber haters out there, ya gotta admit that his music a pretty darn happy, he treats his fans well and he's not old enough to have gone all Lyndsay Lohan on us... so for the time being, my Meaghan Smith Cd in my car has been replaced with the Biebster, although my Cd. player did tell me that it misses Meaghan very much, and seemed happy with assurances that she would return.
On another note(get the pun? Music? Note? Ok that one was bad), it was one of those weeks where things piled up inside me to the point where I thought my head would explode. It happens now and then. My normal plan of attack it pretty much to bury it until it goes away(It's a simple life being a guy). This time however, I had a kind friend that offered to let me vent. At first I politely turned down the offer. Us guys are the strong silent type. Then perhaps I saw the stereotype for what it was, or maybe I just knew that what I would normally do just wasn't going to work this time, but I spent about 2 hours just unloading everything. They nodded, asked the right questions, even validated some stuff I was saying. In the end, nothing had changed, except me... It felt amazing, just to get it off my chest.
Later in the week, I had the chance to help someone, I fully expected them to refuse, or even be offended. They did neither. They let me be a friend.
So what is the point of all this? What did I learn that everyone else probably knew already? I learned that being a friend is more than being there for people, it's trusting others enough to let them be there for you too. If I spend all my time doing for my "friends", but I'm not willing to let them do for me, then I'm not really a friend. I'm something else, something less.... less trusting , less open. Conversely, if someone is always there for me.. and never lets me be there for them.. again they may be a very nice person, but they are not truly my friend.
I flashed back to a number of years ago, and a good buddy that I had. Great guy and I would always call him when something came up. It occurred to me at one point though, that in the years that I knew him, he had never once asked me for anything. Some might call that selfless, but to me it really changed how I saw our friendship. he lost the label friend, replaced by Buddy, or Pal..Someone I could hang out with, but not someone I would call if I needed bail(if that makes any sense at all).
So driving home from work tonight, while listening to Justin sing "Baby", I was thinking of my lessons learned this week, and smiling. Very grateful for my friends and for those people who would let me be theirs.
Or maybe that's just me.