A Geeks Perspective

Hi,

I'm Your Average Joe, and I'm a Geek. Most people who know me know that about me. Maybe not "Geek", in the cool Sheldon Cooper kinda way, more like Gamer Dude, Cartoon watching, SciFi Nut, sort of way. I LOVE all those Super Hero movies. Heck, I even liked Ben Affleck in "Daredevil" (There's something you don't hear a lot).... What a lot of people may not know though is that when I was a kid, the Super Hero I most wanted to be was Iron Man. 
Just the thought of an indestructible battle suit of armor that I could fly around and get the bad guys in was enough to send me day dreaming through the most thrilling of Math classes.

I don't think that little confession is really  note worthy. It's not unusual for a kid to dream of being a Super Hero..... However, what if I told you that I still dream of it, and that I spent all my time and money in my basement building my very own flying suit of iron and doing everything in my power to pattern myself after Tony Stark(The Guy who is Iron Man, for you non geeks :-P  ).
I'm pretty sure I would be thought of as Crazy and if I persisted, my Friends and Family might even send me to the Doctor for some "Special Medication". Because, among other things, I would be patterning my life from something that wasn't even real.... Spending all my time and resources to be like a pretend person.... I may as well say that I wanted to grow up to be the Big Bad Wolf.

What is interesting about that is how clear it is, when I say it.... and it should be, but the fact of the matter is.... People do that all the time and for the most part, it's accepted. They just choose different make believe heroes.

Many times the heroes we follow are celebrities, and while they are real, their photos aren't. Artistic genius's work magic to make people appear flawless and there are so many that diet, exercise and even surgically modify themselves to obtain the look of an Artist rendition of a person, but that rendering is no more real than Iron Man. There's a reason why when we see a celebrity we always ask the question.. "Is that really{insert name here}?"... It's because they don't look like the photo, they just look like the rest of us with all of our flaws.

It's self defeating enough to compare ourselves with anyone, but positively devastating when we compare ourselves to some else's imagination.  


Maybe the solution isn't changing Hollywood, or Cosmo, but teaching ourselves that we are beautiful just as we are. I'm not saying that there is anything wrong with loosing weight, or exercising to be healthy, but I think we need to learn to "love the skin we're in"(That comes from some ad that I can't remember)... because if we don't love ourselves at 250 pounds, we won't love ourselves any more at 150.

And perhaps(Stay with me now :-) we can then be positive role models in loving ourselves to others.... Sometimes amazing changes happen as soon as one person is brave enough to make the first move.

What else? Funny you should ask. To love ourselves we have to feel good about who we are, and I can't think of a better way to do that than acts of Kindness. Imagine that, simply by being nice to each other we can grow to love ourselves, and all of our flaws, and be that example to the people we love the most.

I really believe that if we could all see how truly unique and amazing we are, we would never waste another second trying to be someone else.


Something to think about




Peace Kiddies  

Racisim. and Other Demons

{Note... I wrote this in the summer time, but took it down to make a few changes, which I have finally done :-)   }


Lately it seems, there has been a focus on celebs who use racial slurs... The latest victim of her own poor judgment is Paula Dean.
She has lost her show and gained the scorn of many North Americans by her use of the "N" word.
While my goal with this Blog has always been to focus on kindness and things that are positive, I thought that I would share my take on the whole Racism thing of today.
Being a person of colour(Half Black), Here is what I know:

My Grandfather was born in a Black settlement outside of Halifax called Africville. It isn't there anymore, because in the 60's, the residents of that community were forcibly relocated and the town was bulldozed. A nice park now sits on the space where he and 5 generations of his forefathers were born. He never really spoke about the harshness of racism in his life, He didn't have to.
My parents.. a Black Man and a White Woman together in the early 60's dealt with a society that didn't think it proper for the two of them to be together... I have heard some stories, they were not good and I admire both of them for following their hearts and not letting anything stand in their way.
As for my life, sure I've dealt with it when I was younger, to a lesser degree.. some name calling, some bullying... and as the non white kid I had "The Cooties"... But as I got older, it became more and more rare.. To be honest I don't remember when the last time was that I felt the sting of Racism.... I live my life, and people who meet me, judge me on all sorts of things.. but I never get the impression that race is one of those things... So when I hear people like Paula Dean and others use racial slurs, I don't think that society is racist... I think that the individual is... and the fact of the matter is.. in 1000 years from now,.. when race isn't even an issue.. there will still be jerks in the world who will say hateful things... It's just life.. But that won't be(Like it isn't) a measure of Mankind.. it will be a measure of an individual.

I know that I have been very blessed in my life. You just have to spend a few minutes watching the News to see that the fight to end racism is not over, but I dare say, that there are those who are suffering greater injustices.

For example... I am not a Caucasian man, but I have an education, I have a decent job.. and I can marry any woman foolish enough to say "I Do". Whether she is White, Black, Hispanic, Asian or any one else...People would celebrate with me.. Come to my wedding and buy us presents..... BUT, Heaven Help me, if the person I loved was a Man....Then Kiddies, In most of North America, I would have the Law against me, I would face persecution from many in society... It would be an act of bravery, just to hold hands with the person I love when we were walking down the street.
It's true... Not everyone would feel that way.. But enough would to make life very uncomfortable...And I guess what I am trying to say, is that while everyone and the media is obsessed that Paula Dean uttered a "No-No" word... We should all be OUTRAGED, That part of our civilized society, doesn't even have the same human rights and the very lowest of the rest of us. We should be outraged that some feel so alienated by who they are, that they have to hide it from the rest of us, That some still have to fight for the right to call themselves a Family.
It's actually a newsworthy item when someone "Comes Out".. Why is that???? I never had to "Come In" to my friends and family... Tom Cruise never had to announce that he was a Heterosexual Male, before he married whoever he's married to now... Even some who feel they are "Enlightened" will say things like "Sure, they can do whatever they want in the privacy of their own home.. as long as we don't allow them to have children."

Yes, it's true.. When I was a young teenager, I was as homophobic as the next guy.. Frankly I had never even met a Gay man until I was almost 20... and I thought he was pretty cool, not because he was Gay, he was just a lot of fun.
The point to that little confession is that I grew up, and like others, left my childish phobias behind. We can preach kindness and love all we want, but it doesn't mean much if with the other hand we hold back and oppress others who are equally deserving, just because we refuse to understand.

In the End, Kindness always wins.. even if it takes a long time, and we can choose to be part of the instrument of that kindness, or know that we were the stumbling block that tried to hold it back.

My Choice, like most of my choices, is the one that allows me to look myself in the mirror at night.. and like who I see.

Is that just me? Thankfully, No.

 


Peace Kiddies 

It's an New Year, Lets make it Awesome :-)

Another years ends and a new one begins...

The New Year is always a time for perspective, figuring out what went wrong, assessing whether it was a good year or not. and what we'd like to change for the upcoming one.

And, with every New Year, comes the endless goals and resolutions from all of us(Yes, me included), so in my January 1st, 2014 Blog, I thought maybe I could toss out a different approach.

WHAT IF.... We all looked in the mirror, and loved who we saw. 
WHAT IF we loved every wrinkle and every pound, 
WHAT IF we looked at our flaws with the same love we use when we see a child struggling to walk. 
WHAT IF we were all grateful for EVERYTHING in that reflection.
WHAT IF we looked in that mirror and said... "You Big(Or little), wrinkled (or Young)... messy haired, unorganized, Fabulous Human Being... You ARE Good Enough, You ARE Smart Enough, and Darn-it... I LOVE YOU!!!!!

And Then( as if part one isn't amazing enough)... Instead of making resolutions to change that magnificent being in the mirror. WHAT IF, We thought to ourselves... "How Can I Make The World a Better Place!!!!!!!"

There are so many ways;

We can volunteer, we can give to noble organizations (Like  the Food Bank), We can LEARN, and spread awareness, We can LOVE those who feel unlovable. There are The Poor, The Homeless,  and People with Who have Emotional or Psych issues that need others who are aware and can help, even support them.
There's the "Breakfast for Kids" programs at most schools, and we can't forget Literacy.

Don't like People? There are animals who need foster homes, or organizations that need Dog & Cat food, and Shelters that need volunteers.

And it can be FUN!!!!  

We can share it with friends, our loved ones, our significant others, and I will tell you first hand.. You want to meet new people? Start spreading Kindness, and just see the amazing folks that cross your path.

It's even ok if we're just doing it to be selfish, What do I mean by that? Well, if there is one thing that I have learned it's that kindness feels GOOD, No Nix that, it feels GREAT!!!!!

There it is... It's one of those things in life, where everyone wins, and there are not nearly enough of those...


Something to think about. 


Happy New Years You Fabulous Human Beings :-) 


Peace Kiddies

A Tribute to a Man I never met

Those who know me in real life, will likely remember the story of how back in May, I saw an e-mail request from the Veterans Care Program at a hospital looking for a violin donation for a Vet. who wanted to play again. 
I sent the word out on Facebook and Twitter and lots of really good people took up the challenge of finding one.

The remarkable part of that story was when I was contacted by Brandon Hahn, a young married truck driver from a smaller town about half an hour from where I live.

A very nice, and friendly sounding man, he asked me a few questions then suggested that he might be able to trade a guitar that he had for a violin and donate it to the program.

I'll be honest, by that point, there had been quite a few leads that didn't pan out, so while his thought seemed genuine, I really wasn't getting my hopes up... However a few hours later, he called me again. He had found a music store that would do the trade. He traded his guitar and paid the cash difference for a brand new violin.

I was speechless, again, for those who know me, that's not an easy thing to do. In the beginning, I had thought that just maybe, someone would have an old one in an attic but this man and his wife Jessica, with kindness rarely seen, bought one brand new, which they donated to the Veterans Care Music Program for a Vet. that they had never laid eyes on..

Brandon and I spoke a couple of more times after that, but then I didn't hear from him, which was disappointing, I wanted to meet him in real life and count him among my friends.. But Guys? We aren't always the best at keeping in touch, I get that.

However, I found out about a week ago, that Brandon passed away tragically in June. It's taken me that long to be able to write this tribute, in fact, even now I'm tearing up as I do it.

This is a Man, who was constantly doing random acts of kindness, whether he was giving some nameless employee at a gas station a birthday cake, because he was new to the country and alone, or shoveling his neighbours drive ways, or even  collecting clothes with his wife for local shelters(The clothes were wet and to be thrown out, but they washed,dried and folded hundreds of pounds of clothing, then donated them)

I don't know why the loss of someone I never met has affected me so much. Only that it has.

I have always had a theory that most people are genuinely good and kind, some may be in different circumstances, or making unkind choices, but deep down they are good.. And there are a few(and this might not be a popular thing to say), who just aren't.. Who are just generally bad, and cruel... But there are also some, who are just better than the rest of us... Who exemplify kindness, who can not pass by a person in need without lending a hand, and when they leave us.. The world truly is an emptier place. I think that Brandon was one of those people.

I also believe that when a person who has lived with the life philosophy of Kindness leaves us, it's up to the rest of us to pick up that gauntlet and do a little extra to try and fill the void that has been left behind.

He taught me something else too. While we can't all be famous Artist, Musicians or Inventors... It's within each of us the power to be remembered for leaving the world a better place, simply by being nice to each other., and I for one will try and follow his lead and be a little kinder than I was yesterday




Peace Kiddies


Add: To keep the kindness flowing, we are singing Christmas Carols and collecting donations for the food back, please consider joining us :-)

https://www.facebook.com/events/250169081808511/?context=create# 


 

A Little something about LIFE :-D

Just a short one today, but I saw this and thought the idea was very cool and a nice way to spend 2 mins of my day. 

It got me wondering what my 3 things  are that I would put on my list. In fact it was hard to narrow it to 3, but here goes:


1) Everyone has their own spark of Awesome, if we look hard enough.. But sometimes it's ok to move on and let someone else find it. Finding someone else's Awesome should never come at the cost of your own.

2)There will be many, many friends in your life and lots will be there when you need them, but your truest of friends, will trust you enough to let you be there for them as well. Cherish those people.

3)We are here to be happy, even if it might not seem so today. So remember, one of your tomorrows will be better. If you're stuck doing something you don't like, find a way to find some joy in it.. 
And if you need a hug... Go and Hug someone.. There's a very good chance, they will hug you back.


Peace Kiddies :-)


ps.. Feel free to add your own 3 :-)

My Review of The 400 Pound Male Stripper, by Derrick Shirley

A few months back I heard of the book, "The 400 Pound Male Stripper" by Derrick Shirley, and I'll admit...the title intrigued me. I did a little research, saw a few pics... and from what I could see of the modern day Mr. S., he was NOT 400 pounds.  A new diet book then?

 

Being what can be kindly referred  to as a "Heavy set man", I was even more curious when I saw a Youtube video promoting his book. (video included at the end of this) So I put it on my "Must read" list.

As luck would have it, a few weeks ago Derrick advertized on Facebook/Twitter that he was giving some copies of his book to anyone who would be willing to write a review. I held my hand up tall in a Horshakian manner and yelled.. "Ohhhh, Ohhhhh!!!!  Mr. Shirley, CALL ON ME!!!!!' Annnnnnd.. he did :-)
 
 
The first thing that I would have to say about the book is that it is incredibly honest. I would think that if a person was going to write their life's journey, they would omit the skeletons in the closet. Derrick does no such thing. He bares his soul and maybe that, more than anything, is what makes this such a powerful read. It's also part of what makes it a book that people can identify with. Whether you are a Man or Woman, or Person of colour you almost get a feeling of liberation. "Yes.. I understand that" or "I've been there"..... "I get it".
 
The second thing I will say is that it's not a self help book(or a Diet Book). They tell you things like "If you just {Insert whatever here}, you will fix your problems". Derrick does not do that; he just talks about his journey and we can take from it what we like.
 
I found myself smiling through it, I even became angry at one point. I tossed the book on the couch and walked away. Why? Like I said, it's very honest, and he had done something and it reminded me of something that I had done. Basically, I was angry at myself. I took a little time to deal with those emotions, and then got back to reading.
 
 It's hard to describe something you are excited about, without getting into content, but I don't want to take away from the experience of anyone who will read it...and I'm hoping that lots more people will. 
 
Instead I will tell you of what I took from it.

 
I realized that I frequently don't do the things that I love, because I'm doing things that I like - I'm changing that.
 
I've started some journals - and it is sooooo cool and freeing. I've even forgiven myself of some past regrets that I have chosen not to think about for a long time.
 
Maybe most importantly, when I read about this person's journey, someone who was "Just a Guy" and yet came through everything that life could throw at him better and stronger, I realized that I too am stronger than that which would hold me back. And that, right there, may be the greatest gift that this book offers.
 
 As I read the very last paragraph, my Daughter looked at me and said "What's wrong Dad?". I looked at her, gave her a tearful beaming smile and said, "Sweetie, it had a very happy ending".
 
I'm a big believer in happy endings - and in my own case, I found a few tools to add to my repertoire in this book.
 
 
Thank You Mr. Shirley, for your honesty and sharing. I have a place reserved on my bookshelf for your next offering. I hope you don't let it get too dusty for waiting :-)
 
 
Peace Kiddies 




Add: As the book I read was given to me... and in an effort to pay it forward... I will give a copy to a random person who comments here or "Likes" and Share's on Facebook/Twitter.  :-D


Derricks Shirley's Youtube Video

And the best kind of Sunshine is?????

The question I posed on Facebook was... "Which kind of sunshine is the best kind?", A reliable source (Me) said... The 3rd best kind was "Sitting on your break at work, chillin' in the Sun" sunshine... 2nd, was "hanging out at the beach on a lazy afternoon" sunshine... but what was the elusive Number 1?

Well go figure, the person who came the closest to being right was....{Drumroll Please}... My Mom, when she said(talking about Moi)... "You are my Sunshine, You make me happy when clouds are grey"....(Mom's pretty smart for an old broad LOL)

In fact, while I was sitting on my break at work on this cool autumn afternoon, soaking in the last of today's rays... That's pretty much what I was thinking.. Not the "Me" part of course, but all of the people in my life that fill my days with sunshine, even when it's raining... And when I really sat and thought about it, I was amazed and humbled at the same time.

I have 3 Amazing Children, who are getting older now, so they are more than just my kids, they are my friends.. They are Awesome people, They make me proud and they brighten up my life.

I have an incredible family, who love and support me.. My Cool Mom, talented Sister, Rock Star Brother.. Nieces, a sole nephew. Another Brother who may actually be a Ninja, and has the sweetest family.

I work with spectacular people, who make going to work fun and a thing of joy, even on the really bad days...

I even have a horrible monster in my life who brightens my day just by by being her(and a very cool Mini Monster :-)


I have extraordinary friends, some near, others far away... They are kind and brilliant and wonderful, each and every one of them.

Not all my Sunshine bringers are human... I have 2 foster pups that have been with me for a while and who are so happy when I come home, that I can't help but be happy too.

It just sort of hit me today, when I was feeling kind of "Meh"(On my a fore mentioned break)  and was brightened up after a simple 5 min phone call from my Lovely Daughter. Nothing outrageous was said, but I felt brighter, She does that a lot :-)

It did get me thinking though of the many people in my life who, through one way or another, brighten my days...

My question... "Which is the best sunshine" was in fact a silly way to lead into a big...

 

To everyone, who though their kindness, their friendship, warm smiles, and just by being Fabulous, make my world a better place.

You may have no idea how important you are... But take my word for it... My Universe would be a sadder emptier place without you.



So I send you all a big Group Hug

And say "Thank You for being You"



Peace Kiddies :-)